"When people walk out, we tend to be a bit more concerned with ourselves
than we ever are with them. We’re mad that they left. We’re worried why.
We don’t know how we’ll go on. We want to know why they didn’t love us.
Whether or not we’re ever going to find someone again. We know that
people don’t change until it becomes too inconvenient not to. So we want
to know what part of us was so inconveniencing. It’s almost a
compulsion of survival.
When it comes to finding our way out of pain and suffering, the first, most honest step is realizing that our lives do not change for the better, we do. Things
don’t get easier, we become better equipped to deal with them.
Experiences become less difficult once we stop fearing them, putting
meaning to them and energy toward them. Challenges don’t stop cropping
up, but we stop seeing them as things to get over and through, but
rather, we begin to view them simply as re-directs, or matter-of-fact
happenstance.
Some relationships are long, steady, and easy; some are quick and
enlightening and challenging. Some brush along our surface and others
dive beneath and uproot us. Some might be temporary, one might last
“forever.” That doesn’t mean it has to be the only one there is. That
doesn’t mean there’s not something to be experienced, to be taken, to be
learned, from whatever came before.
You can’t make a relationship something more than what it inherently
is. You can’t make yourself fit into something you inherently won’t.
You’ll realize you knew the answers to your questions all along, it was
only a matter of having the courage to act on them. You’ll let go when
you don’t realize you’re doing it. You will have to learn that loving
someone doesn’t always mean that being with them is the answer. You’ll
realize that love is enough, but the kind of love that makes you stay
only partly comes from the person you stay with. The other part comes
from you"